Take Out the Trash

Richard Sherman is an American football cornerback for the Seattle Seahawks of the National Football League. Since entering the league, Sherman has the third most interceptions (25) and defended passes (75) of any other active player. Sherman played a critical role in helping Seattle win Super Bowl 48.  However Richard Sherman is also known for his trash talking.

Every TV timeout, I went up and said it right to [Brady]: ‘Please keep trying me. I’m going to take it from you.’ That was when they were winning (23-10). He just gave me that look and said, ‘Oh, I’ll see you after game.’ Well, I made sure I saw him after the game.”  “Me and Earl [Thomas] walked up to him and said, ‘We’re greater than you. We’re better than you. You’re just a man — we’re a team.’ That’s the Brady Bunch; this is a defense. We’ve got 11 players out there to play great ball, and we’re never going to let one man beat us. It’s not just about one man.”  Picture of “U Mad Bro?”

Some would say “Trash-talking has been a part of the game since football started."  While it may be very entertaining for a player to trash talk an opponent in an athletic sport, it can be hurtful and damaging to talk trash to those whom you love.

Today we want to talk about taking out the trash-things we say that are hurtful to others and also things that have been said to us.  It is estimated that working males will average 2000-3000 per day. Does anyone want to guess what a female will average per day? Females will average from 10,000-20000 words per day.  However, both average about 500-700 words of actual value.

Words are incredibly powerful. They can build up, encourage, and motivate. Words can also tear down, hurt, and cause horrible scars. Remember the saying many of us used as kids, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." It isn't true. Words can hurt. Some of us are living with the scars of the hurtful words of others.

Proverbs 18:21  Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

First let’s talk about the words that we say to others.

Stop Talking Trash To Your Kids

Ephesians 6:4  Fathers, (Parents, mothers included) do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Provoke- to cause (a person or animal) to become angry, violent, etc

Though God has given you authority over your kids, you must not abuse that power.
You must remember that your children are a part of you, they came from you they must be treated with great tenderness and love.  You must learn to be patient with them and to be reasonable in your corrections.  When you do correct them you do it in such a way not to provoke them to anger.

It is interesting, looking back in life, there are only a handful of times that my father did provoke me to anger. Which is not bad overall but I still remember them. It wasn’t the many times when he whipped me with a belt, or put me on my knees because truthfully I deserved it. Rather I was provoked by the things he said.  It was his words that provoked me to have anger in my heart. It was his words that were more hurtful than any whipping I would ever get.  Now I have forgiven him, but I still remember.

Parents it is important to pour life into your child. It is important to discipline your child. The bible says not to spare the rod. But at the same time never respond in your anger.  Don’t provoke your child to anger. Don’t speak death over your child by saying things like “your worthless, good for nothing, you will never amount to anything. Don’t curse at your child. Don’t call your child names.

Take care of them, nurture them, bring them up in such a way so that they know the Lord, and instruct them to fear sinning but do it all through love.  It is important that we take out the trash, as we speak to our kids.

Stop Talking Trash to Your Spouse

Another thing that is absolutely inexcusable is when a husband abuses his wife verbally. Or when a woman disrespects her husband publically with her mouth.  In the book of Ephesians chapter 5, Paul begins to describe our relationship with our spouses.  He says things like wives should submit to their husbands, and that husbands should love their wives like they love their own body.  However when we look at that chapter, we often add our own conditions. In other words I’ll submit to him if….or I will show her love if….

Yet the bible does not say if a woman fulfills her husband’s desires then a man shall love his wife.  Nor did it say if a man earns respect then wives you should respect your husbands.
What it does state is that we as men ought to love, and women should respect regardless.
And one of the biggest things that gets us in trouble is the things that we say to one another.

For example, I’m going to pick on the men first
• Men would often think of their jobs as more important than a wife/mother who stays home with the kids therefore he may mouth off something like,  “All you do is stay at home and watch TV you fat and lazy slob”  When in fact she had to deal with crying kids all day, clean the house, do your clothes, cook you a meal, go buy groceries etc.… and you may have walked in just as she was taking a break watching TV.

• Or perhaps you’re the kind of person that criticizes your wife either in front of your children or when you are in public amongst your boys.  I know someone who criticizes his wife in front of people. It is if as if she can’t say anything right. He expects her to wait on him hand and foot. And God forbid if she serves something to him that is not in his liking. She is always being corrected by her husband and she often feels like a failure because of it.

• Or perhaps you are hot tempered. You are easily angered. In the heat of the moment you say things that you will regret later. Remember as men we are to be leading our families toward Christ. When your wife irritates you, don’t answer right away instead count to 10 and remember that she is a gift from God.

Proverbs15:1  A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Now for the Ladies
• Don’t expect your husband to be your girlfriend. In other words don’t wear your husband with countless conversational details that he doesn’t really care about. Most of the time after a hard day of work men just need to come home and relax. Sure there should be some time for conversation but remember he is a guy and not one of your woman friends. Call one of them if you have that much to say.
• Don’t dishonor your husband. Stop all nagging and don’t correct your husband in front of others.
• Tell your husband your needs He is not a mind reader. This will prevent a lot of heartache. Often women would feel like their needs are not being met by their husband this could include household chores, correcting the kids, or even emotional needs. However a guy will never think like a woman, in most cases you need to verbalize your request.

Stop Talking Trash to Others
When talking to others it is important to first of all be truthful.

Matthew 5:37 (ESV)  37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

People need to believe what we say. Lying destroys our credibility. Chances are that we’ll eventually be caught if we make a practice of lying.

When talking to others it is important also that we do not participating in ungodly conversations.

Ephesians 5:4 (ESV)  Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

And finally when talking to others it is vital that we refrain from gossip. We need to be careful about the news that we share concerning others. There is only one thing as difficult as unscrambling an egg, and that’s un-spreading a rumor. Gossip is destructive and it normally starts off like this: “did you hear about so and so?” Before you know it you’re caught up in gossip.

Proverbs 20:19 (MSG)  Gossips can’t keep secrets, so never confide in blabbermouths.

In other words don’t tell your business to blabbermouths.  Gossip has one goal to defame someone else so that another person looks better than he or she. 

Now perhaps your hearing this sermon and before you can take the trash out of the way you speak, to your children, your spouse, or others, there has to come a healing in your own heart.
Because when you were younger, you had some hurtful things that were said to you. You had trash that was said to you and those words left you feeling like worthless garbage.  Jesus wants to heal your heart to today. He wants to declare new words over your life if you let him.

Then there are those who need to get the trash out of the way you talk to your kids, spouse, and others.  Ask God to help you stop talking trash and instead speak good words into your life and the lives of others.