God Has a Plan for Your Family

February 18, 2018 Speaker: Ted Detiveaux Series: Healthy Relationships

Topic: Family Scripture: Genesis 27:1– :46

God Has a Plan for Your Family

Genesis 27:1-46 (ESV)

Isaac Blesses Jacob

1 When Isaac was old and his eyes were dim so that he could not see, he called Esau his older son and said to him, “My son”; and he answered, “Here I am.” 2 He said, “Behold, I am old; I do not know the day of my death. 3 Now then, take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field and hunt game for me, 4 and prepare for me delicious food, such as I love, and bring it to me so that I may eat, that my soul may bless you before I die.”

5 Now Rebekah was listening when Isaac spoke to his son Esau. So when Esau went to the field to hunt for game and bring it, 6 Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “I heard your father speak to your brother Esau, 7 ‘Bring me game and prepare for me delicious food, that I may eat it and bless you before the Lord before I die.’ 8 Now therefore, my son, obey my voice as I command you. 9 Go to the flock and bring me two good young goats, so that I may prepare from them delicious food for your father, such as he loves. 10 And you shall bring it to your father to eat, so that he may bless you before he dies.” 11 But Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, “Behold, my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man. 12 Perhaps my father will feel me, and I shall seem to be mocking him and bring a curse upon myself and not a blessing.” 13 His mother said to him, “Let your curse be on me, my son; only obey my voice, and go, bring them to me.”

14 So he went and took them and brought them to his mother, and his mother prepared delicious food, such as his father loved. 15 Then Rebekah took the best garments of Esau her older son, which were with her in the house, and put them on Jacob her younger son. 16 And the skins of the young goats she put on his hands and on the smooth part of his neck. 17 And she put the delicious food and the bread, which she had prepared, into the hand of her son Jacob.

18 So he went in to his father and said, “My father.” And he said, “Here I am. Who are you, my son?” 19 Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done as you told me; now sit up and eat of my game, that your soul may bless me.” 20 But Isaac said to his son, “How is it that you have found it so quickly, my son?” He answered, “Because the Lord your God granted me success.” 21 Then Isaac said to Jacob, “Please come near, that I may feel you, my son, to know whether you are really my son Esau or not.” 22 So Jacob went near to Isaac his father, who felt him and said, “The voice is Jacob's voice, but the hands are the hands of Esau.” 23 And he did not recognize him, because his hands were hairy like his brother Esau's hands. So he blessed him. 24 He said, “Are you really my son Esau?” He answered, “I am.” 25 Then he said, “Bring it near to me, that I may eat of my son's game and bless you.” So he brought it near to him, and he ate; and he brought him wine, and he drank.

26 Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come near and kiss me, my son.”27 So he came near and kissed him. And Isaac smelled the smell of his garments and blessed him and said,

“See, the smell of my son
    is as the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed!
28 May God give you of the dew of heaven
    and of the fatness of the earth
    and plenty of grain and wine.
29 Let peoples serve you,
    and nations bow down to you.
Be lord over your brothers,
    and may your mother's sons bow down to you.
Cursed be everyone who curses you,
    and blessed be everyone who blesses you!”

30 As soon as Isaac had finished blessing Jacob, when Jacob had scarcely gone out from the presence of Isaac his father, Esau his brother came in from his hunting. 31 He also prepared delicious food and brought it to his father. And he said to his father, “Let my father arise and eat of his son's game, that you may bless me.” 32 His father Isaac said to him, “Who are you?” He answered, “I am your son, your firstborn, Esau.” 33 Then Isaac trembled very violently and said, “Who was it then that hunted game and brought it to me, and I ate it all before you came, and I have blessed him? Yes, and he shall be blessed.” 34 As soon as Esau heard the words of his father, he cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me, even me also, O my father!” 35 But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully, and he has taken away your blessing.” 36 Esau said, “Is he not rightly named Jacob? For he has cheated me these two times. He took away my birthright, and behold, now he has taken away my blessing.” Then he said, “Have you not reserved a blessing for me?” 37 Isaac answered and said to Esau, “Behold, I have made him lord over you, and all his brothers I have given to him for servants, and with grain and wine I have sustained him. What then can I do for you, my son?” 38 Esau said to his father, “Have you but one blessing, my father? Bless me, even me also, O my father.” And Esau lifted up his voice and wept.

39 Then Isaac his father answered and said to him:

“Behold, away from the fatness of the earth shall your dwelling be,
    and away from the dew of heaven on high.
40 By your sword you shall live,
    and you shall serve your brother;
but when you grow restless
    you shall break his yoke from your neck.”

41 Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” 42 But the words of Esau her older son were told to Rebekah. So she sent and called Jacob her younger son and said to him, “Behold, your brother Esau comforts himself about you by planning to kill you. 43 Now therefore, my son, obey my voice. Arise, flee to Laban my brother in Haran 44 and stay with him a while, until your brother's fury turns away—45 until your brother's anger turns away from you, and he forgets what you have done to him. Then I will send and bring you from there. Why should I be bereft of you both in one day?”

46 Then Rebekah said to Isaac, “I loathe my life because of the Hittite women. If Jacob marries one of the Hittite women like these, one of the women of the land, what good will my life be to me?”

I like this bible story because it really demonstrates the conflict that is within most families.  It shows the humanness of Isaac’s family and how imperfect they are. Despite our human weakness we try to live in unity together in this environment called family. 

This story has a little bit of everything

At the beginning we see Isaac’s old age and with that old age comes dim eye sight. 

We know that many of you have dealt with similar things.  It hurts to see your loved ones struggle through life after having lived so vibrantly.  Many of you have even lost your loved ones.  We are here for you and we encourage you to go through grief share to find healing.

Also, in this story, we find the innate desire for a son to live up to his father’s expectations.  Esau is sent into the fields to go hunting and to bring back some game for his father.  Being it is every man’s desire to have his father’s approval, Esau goes immediately.

We also see favoritism.  Isaac liked Esau more than he liked Jacob, while Rebekah loved Jacob more. Jacob was a momma’s boy and it was hard for Jacob to gain the approval of his father.

Perhaps you can relate.

Then there is Rebekah, the mother of these two sons.  She uses her influence to manipulate her husband to get her way.

There is deceit, Jacob tricks his father by pretending to be Esau.  He executes this plan as instructed by his mother.

There is conflict between husband and wife, at least a varying of opinion about who should get the father’s blessing.

Then Jacob lied multiple times directly to his father’s face.  Lying breaks trust.

Then of course like in every family there is conflict between siblings.  In this case the conflict was jealousy.  Jealousy led to hatred, hatred would have led to murder if Jacob had not fled for his life.

At the very end of this chapter we also discover that Rebekah despised Esau’s wives.  Perhaps you can relate.   Maybe you feel like you can never satisfy your in-laws expectations.

Yes, this family had a little bit of everything.

Favoritism, hatred, jealousy, manipulation, strife, conflict, quarrelling, deceit, lying & in-laws.

For a family who directly descended from Abraham, the father of our faith, they sure were a messed-up group of people. 

Isaac’s family was not the only dysfunctional family that ever lived.  Perhaps yours is as well.

 

 

After researching the family structure in America, I have come across some interesting statistics.

Increasingly more children are not growing up in a structured household with both mother and father figures.

 

  1. Nearly 20 million children under age 18 live with one parent, composing 27.1 percent

2.    In a single parent environment, more children live with their fathers than a decade ago.

The percentage increased from 12.5 percent in 2007 to 16.1 percent in 2017.  This may be due to an increase of incompetent mothers.

  1. Today, over half (52.8 percent) of black children live with one parent, compared to 29.1 percent of Hispanic children and 22.4 percent of white children

Less people are getting married

 

  1. Married couples make up 69 percent of all families with children under age 18, compared to 93 percent in 1950.

 

  1. In 2017, there are 7.8 million unmarried couples living together.
  2. Of the unmarried opposite-sex couples living together, 37 percent live with children under the age of 18.

 

Divorce is on the rise

 

  1. Men 18+ only 53.2% are married and 9.1% have been divorced
  2. Women 18+ only 49.9% are married and 11.5% have been divorced.

 

We look at these stats and we conclude that something is wrong with American families.

We wonder why we see such rebellion and trouble in the classrooms of ours schools.  It all goes back to a lack of family structure at home.

 

God knew what He was doing when he created the family structure.  He knew the best environment for a child to grow up with included a father and mother.  Not to knock anyone who is a single parent in the room.  We know that some circumstances are beyond your control.

 

But the ideal formula for a healthy family structure involves God, man, his wife, and their kids.

We also know there are still problems that arise in such an environment, just as we have read about Isaac’s family.

 

  • So, what is the solution?

 

While we might not be able to change what happens in other families, we all have a part to play in building healthy relationships within our own families.

 

 

I want to give you a few practical ways to help your family relationships stay healthy.

 

 

Five “S”

Spend time together in God’s Word.

There are so many lies being taught to our kids today that is why it is important that you are communicating God’s word into your children’s lives.  The word of God will be a lamp unto their feet and a light unto their path.

Set the Example

Our kids are watching us and learning with every word we speak and action we take. What’s your life teaching them?

 

If you are talking rough to your wife and/or daughters, then you are setting the example on how your son should treat women. 

Women if you are disrespecting your husbands in front of your kids, then you too are teaching them to be disrespectful to those in authority.

Speak Words of Affirmation

Husbands should do this to their wives and children, wives should also do this to their husbands and children. 

We are to build them up and not tear them down with our words.

If we just call our kids names like loser and stupid, then you have just crushed his/her spirit.  That child will grow up believing that he/she is a loser or is stupid.

Parents be careful what you are speaking into the lives of your children. 

If they do good, then let them know how proud you are of them.

If they do bad also let them know that you are disappointed, but do not crush them.

Spend quality time together

Get involved with your kids, have a family game night, go eat out at a restaurant, take family vacations, go to their sporting events, play sports with them, help them with their homework.

Spend time praying for them

Set aside a time every day in which you pray for you spouse and kids.

Isaac’s family did not stay a disaster, and neither should yours.  God had a plan for their family and He has a plan for your family as well.

Jacob and Esau eventually reconciled their relationship some 20 years later, and God richly blessed both Jacob and Esau.  But let’s not wait that long to make things right in our families.

These principles can be applied in every family relationship that you have.

Start by making a difference in your family today.

(Favoritism, hatred, jealousy, manipulation, strife, conflict, quarrelling, deceit, lying & in-laws.)

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