Sermon Series: Summer on the Mount

Sermon Title:   Keep Your Word

Matthew 5:31-37

Divorce

³¹ “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ ³² But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

When talking about this subject I feel the least qualified to do so because I have been divorced as well.   I was a young man (25) and a fairly new Christian at the time, just wanting someone who was heading the same directionas I was and who was just as passionate for the Lord as I was.  I thought she was it, it turned out to not be the case.  She just wanted a “good guy.” Though she went to church in the beginning of our relationship, still we were unequally yoked. 

         2 Corinthians 6:14

¹⁴ Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

If I could give some advice I would add “Don’t be unequally yoked with believers either.”  Meaning if you feel the call of God upon your life for ministry, then don’t settle for someone who is not running the same race.  Find someone with whom you can do ministry with.

I have repented of my sins, the divorce and all that I did that led to the divorce, and the Lord has forgiven me.  The only way I can present this message is through the Grace of God.  He has healed me and has made me whole.  We believe God can do the same for you if you are going through the same thing.

What is the big deal about getting a divorce, why is it so wrong?

God Said It Is Wrong   

         (Correcting Kids: “because I said so.”)

(NKJV) Malachi 2:16

“For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,”

God is creator and we are not.  Therefore, if He establishes one thing as good, such as the covenant of marriage, and condemns another such as divorce, then who are we to question His judgement.

But if we look at the verse in context, we gain more understanding as pertaining to why.

(ESV) Malachi 2:13-16

¹³ And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. ¹⁴ But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. ¹⁵ Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one Godseeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. ¹⁶ “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

• Divorce Causes Pain and Heart Ache
• Divorce Removes You from God’s Favor (even if it’s temporarily)
• Divorce Annuls the Vow You Made To Each Other and to God (Marriage is three-way)
• Divorce Is a Result of Faithlessness & Selfishness (the opposite of God’s character)
• Divorce goes against the commandment to love

 Ephesians 6:25

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

To love with a Christ like love is to love unconditionally and selflessly.  This is the love that He has lavishedon us.  We in turn as believers are to portray this same love to our spouses.

Why then were early jews allowed to give their wives a certificate of divorce? 

Matthew 19:7-9

⁷ They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” ⁸ He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹ And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

God’s intention for marriage from the beginning was that it would be a lasting, binding covenant between a man and his wife.  Much like His love is everlasting toward us.

The exception to the rule was in the case of sexual immorality.  Sexual immorality is all sex outside of that which God has called good.  Sex that God has blessed occurs within a covenant marriage between a man and his wife. 

So, if a person were to divorce his/her spouse because they were guilty of sexual immorality then it was a justified reason for divorce.  

What about abusive spouses?

When Paul says, “husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church” (Ephesians 5:25), he is prohibiting every attitude or behavior that devalues, humiliates, belittles, or wounds his wife either physicallyor emotionally. If a husband continually abuses his wife, then he is not walking in love that Christ has called him to nor is he holding up his end of the covenant. 

In that same passage in verse 22 he told wives “to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord”

He was not saying that women should constantly live in fear of their husbands. Nor was he supporting the idea that women are to be treated as inferior.

Marriage is not meant to bring about constant suffering, this is not a picture of Christ’s love for us. Furthermore, ongoing abuse in a marriage is damaging to everyone:

• the abuser is not made accountable and only becomes further aggressive.
• the victim’s emotional and physical wellbeing is pulverized.
• the children of the marriage are damaged by the dysfunction

The gospels often recount times when during his ministry Jesus avoids or escapes likely violence, and encourages his disciples to do so as well.

• Jesus asked God to take the cup of suffering from him in the garden of Gethsemane. 
• Paul avoided being violently mistreated on several accounts.
• In the Old Testament David writes this:

2 Samuel 22:49

“The Lord lives, and blessed be my rock,
    and exalted be my God, the rock of my salvation,
⁴⁸ the God who gave me vengeance
    and brought down peoples under me,

who brought me out from my enemies;
    you exalted me above those who rose against me;
    you delivered me from men of violence.

We see that the Lord is against those who do violence against another. The Lord is against the husband who violently abuses his spouse.  If He has delivered David from violent men, He will do the same for you.

The Lord has come to bring freedom to those who are oppressed.  He is a just God.

Luke 4:18-19

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
    and recovering of sight to the blind,
    to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
¹⁹ to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.”

So, if a victim can avoid suffering by leaving a dangerous relationship, they should, and their church should support them to do so.

What About Unsaved Spouses?

1 Corinthians 7:12-16

¹² To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.¹³ If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. ¹⁵ But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. ¹⁶ For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

The truth is light, and darkness cannot mix.  A couple with such opposing views would find it very difficult to sustain peace in their home.  In this we find another exception to the rule.  

But where does that leave everyone else.  Work it out. Marriage is sometimes difficult because you are two completely different individuals trying to live one life. 

Fight for Your Marriage not in your marriage

Do those things you once did at the beginning of your relationship. Pursue peace, seek reconciliation, go to counseling if need be.  Your marriage is worth fighting for.  Don’t try to change each other, rather allow the Holy Spirit through your love and selflessness bring about the radical change that is needed.

I hope you see the importance of keeping your vows that you have made to the Lord especially in a covenant marriage.  For a moment we will look at a different aspect of this as we continue in Matt. 5:33.

Oaths

³³ “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ 

In Jesus’ day, rabbis devised a system that defeated the purpose of oaths. They taught that oaths might or might not be binding, depending on how one swore:

• If one swore by Jerusalem it was not binding, but if one swore toward Jerusalem, it was.
• If one swore by the temple, it was not binding, but if one swore by the temple’s gold, it was.
• If one swore by the altar of sacrifice, it was not binding, if one swore by the gift on the altar, it was.

The rabbinic teaching perverted the purpose of oaths. Since oaths no longer guaranteed anything, Jesus removed the artificial distinction between vows that invoked God’s name, which were binding, and those that did not, and were not binding. 

³⁴ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, ³⁵ or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. ³⁶ And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 

 All oaths call God to witness, for he created and sustains all things, even our hair. Disciples must keep their word, especially when others depend on them, even if circumstances change or oath keeping brings real loss. No one should break vows unless keeping them requires sin.           

³⁷ Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

Josephus - “He who cannot be believed without swearing by God is already condemned.”

Just think about that for a moment.  When you tell your child that you will take them swimming and they ask you “You promise?” It is because you have not always been truthful with your words in the past.  There is some doubt in the child’s mind that you will perform that which you have said. Perhaps you had made similar promises before which you were not able to keep.  So therefore, the child incites you to vow or promise to keep the thing which you have spoken.

So, the very nature of oaths comes because of our sinful, fallen nature.  The reason the Judge ask you to swearupon the bible upon giving your testimony in court is because we are pronged to lying.  If you make such a vow invoking God as your witness, then you will be more apt to be truthful while on the stand.

But again, the swearing is necessary to prevent a false witness from diminishing another as humans have a track record of not telling the truth.  

 Jesus teaches that we should be so true to our words that the need for oaths disappears. A simple yes or noshould suffice. A disciple should be so reliable that no one asks for more.

If you find that people are constantly responding to you with phrases like: “are you for real” or “yeah right” or “are you serious?” then you may need to evaluate whether your words are truthful or not.   They are obviously having a hard time believing you.

Or if you are constantly saying “I swear” to prove that what you are saying is truthful, then it is safe to say that people have a hard time believing anything that comes out of your mouth.  It’s time for some self-evaluation.

Jesus would say let your yes be yes and you no be no.  Develop a pattern of speaking truthfully.

Going back to the topic of marriage:  Let your yes be yes.  Your vows were an oath that you made to each other but more importantly to God. 

• Husbands You said yes to love and protect your wife.
• Wives you said yes to love and honor your husband.
• Christians, you have said yes to following Jesus with the cross before you and the world behind you. You have said yes to a life of truthfulness.  Oh, that your yes would be yes even when it is difficult and that your no would be no even when it is not popular. 

If you are divorced and are still battling with the sting of divorce, we would love to pray with you.  God can restoreyou just as He has restored me.  You have not forfeited your purpose in life, rather God is beginning something new in you today.

If you struggle with being truthful with your words, If you make a bunch of promises that you can’t keep, or say a bunch of things that are not true, we believe that God has the power to change you.